M.I.A.

First off, I feel the need to explain myself. Not to make excuses, but to illustrate what's been going on since my last blog entry July 2013...

I'm not going to lie, beat around the bush or try to paint a pretty picture. It's been a struggle. Not only physically but mentally and emotionally. I mean, why would someone want to read a blog about the struggle of losing weight when all I've done is gain? That thought crossed my mind as well as other negative thoughts that I won't share just yet. Tonight I was reminded by some pretty amazing ladies that the beauty is in the journey, the story, and the struggles. The situations that you either succeed at or fail at. Failing is simply put as "First Attempt In Learning". I'm learning. I'm human and I'm trying. 

Months after Seminar, my eyes were opened to new oppertunities, new adventures and new dreams. When would my husband and I have our 2nd child? Well we both discussed this for months and came to the conclusion, there is no "right time" or "enough money" so we went for it. In my head, I often thought this would only hurt my ability to lose weight but it didn't. I actually lost 16 lbs but not in a fun way. I had morning sickness almost all of my pregnancy. This was not an easy pregnancy like I had with Emma. This pregnancy was very difficult. Let me tell you though, It was completely worth it. Beautiful Baby Ava was born Dec 15th (on my husband's birthday) 2013. You would assume it would be 11 months of bliss after a difficult pregnancy... That's where I stop you & say you're wrong. As most mom's know, it comes with a loss of energy, being sleep deprived, having a lack of self care, and for me a season of depression. Ava was borderline Colicy w/ acid reflux. Every time she would cry, it would break my heart. My emotions couldn't handle the sadness coming from such a sweet little thing. But over time, she got better and so did I. We are now at 12 months, (just celebrated Ava's 1st Birthday Party) and both of us are doing a little better as each month goes by. Let's just say I am excited to put the infant stage behind us. I'm looking forward to the toddler years. 😉

Okay, let's get down to the nitty-gritty of it. I'm currently at 187 lbs. I'm actually ok with it... for now. I know I need to love myself and to start somewhere. That somewhere is here. I'm unhappy with how my body looks & I'm at a point where I'm ready to make a change. 

Before I get into the details, I must share what God put on my heart... a ministry. To be specific, my family. The first two tasks are to show God's love towards each one of them and to help them though the struggles of emotions and how to handle situations. I am no expert at any of this, in fact I struggle with this myself. But, I believe God has a purpose for this and I trust His plan. So trusting in God means letting Him be in ALL areas of my life. Including my weight loss journey, my relationship with food and the dreaded word food budget. Yep God will be involved in all of the process.  

My plan for a healthy lifestyle with a balance of excerise & making healthier choices with smaller portions. I have quit drinking pop on Dec 3rd. So far it's been good. I realized how addicted I was to caffeine and how much I relied on it. It was time for a change. I have my Camelbak water bottle with me at ALL TIMES. It helps a lot! I'm going to start up 21 Day Fix again with a group on Jan 5th (the day after my bday). I did this a while back & this plan helped get me started on watching & measuring portions. Also on writing down what I'm eating & being accountable for it. Shout out to Rachel who is a wonderful coach & friend. She's so down to earth and understands the struggles we all go though. You could say she's picked me up a time or two.😉 I have also started wearing my Jawbone UP to moniture when & how I'm being active. It does motivate me to move more, get better sleep and be accountable. 

I just want to give a shout out to whoever reads my blog. Thank you. Thank you for taking time to read this. Thank you for not judging me or criticizing me on what I post or how poor my grammar may be. Thank you for loving me for who I am. I hope only to encourage you and other on my journey. 

Don't Give Up!

Hi Everyone...

Yes, I have some explaining to do since the last time I blogged. A lot has happened.

I went to Dallas for Mary Kay and had the time of my life. Saw dreams and goals of others becoming real on stage and thought to myself... "Hey, that could be me!" Remembering back to when they were on stage, walking across, telling their stories, hearing their challenges, watching them give praise to God. It was so inspiring. I got to witness greatness. None of these women look like one another. Many of them had accents or spoke different langues. They all had different personalities. Most of them walked gracefully across the stage, while some had their own physical setbacks - they couldn't but that didn't stop them! Their confidence was sky high. While most of them had similar dreams, each one had a different story. A different struggle to overcome and it was amazing to hear what they had to go through to get where they are today. I left Dallas floating on cloud 9 with a skip in my step. I had huge dreams and goals I was going after... then life happened... or maybe I allowed life to crowd out my dreams.

As for my journey of releasing weight... I've been adding more than subtracting. Oh joy to the Holidays! Those dates rolled around and I couldn't stop eating! I had no self-control. I didn't feel the need to limit how much I ate because well we're celebrating with family and friends. What a joke! I can't believe how out of control I left myself get! This season has been pretty tough. We went through a lot with family. On one side, my grandma had a stroke. On the other side, both Grandma and Grandpa aren't doing so great. It's been rough. From Holidays, Family, Finances and Health, I come to realize, everybody has "stuff" they need to deal with. It shouldn't be an excuses to pack on the lbs.

So I'm fessing up. I'm so embarrassed to say this. Okay, here it goes (drum roll) Today I weight 184. Ouch. I can't believe I left myself gain this much weight. What happened?

Well during these past few months I learned something. I can't do this alone. Take a look back at what's been going on... I was completely relying on myself to do it all. I was trying to do this healthy eating, exercise and having control over my mindset BY MYSELF and it didn't work. If I look far enough back, I also see that it's never worked. I need someone to hold me accountable. I need someone that has enough strength to look me in the eye and say... "Are you sure about that? Can you afford that dessert?" My favorite quote from the Made to Crave book is "Stop in the name of Love and Think It Over!"

So since I am being honest... What are your setbacks? What are some mistakes you've made along the way? What is something that you've given up or stopped short of? I'm reminded of something Joel Osteen often says "Setbacks are God's way of setting you up for a Comeback" God is on your side and wants you to succeed. My question is why am I not leaning on HIM during these struggles? Obviously, I can't do it myself. Who will always be there for me? God will. God loves me. God loves you. He knit us perfectly in our mothers womb. He is our Father, our protector, our creator. Let's let Him do His job. Let God into our lives. Let Him comfort us when those cravings for chocolate cake hit. Let Him be there when you're working out and you don't think you can do one more rep. Let Him be there to help you, guide you and strengthen you.

I have a couple of girlfriends who I asked to keep me accountable. One friend is on LoseIt.com with me (it's an app) that you can track your food and workout. It's actually the only app I've come to like. So why have I stopped using it? Well it just so happens that I was  too embarrassed to record what I was eating. Candy here, a donuts there... So I made a deal with her. I told her that I'd record Everything that I eat from now on as long as we're both honest with ourselves. This will help me take action, be accountable for what I put in my mouth. My other girlfriend and I were working out together Sunday night and Wednesday nights. It was really fun but I found excuses not to exercise  It's too late, I'm tired, I don't feel good... blah blah blah. Well we are both on agreement that we will workout again starting Sunday. She is a great motivator.

As cliche as it sounds, yes my goal (my new years resolution) is to release 54 lbs. And something to look forward to is my best friend's wedding sometime in the Fall of 2014! So pumped! By then, I want to be maintaining my goal weight of 130 lb on that day. I don't want to look back and wish to be a healthy figure... but to actually BE healthy in doing it the old fashion way with a healthy lifestyle change with foods and moving my body 3-5 times a week for at least 30 mins to 1 hour each time. Sounds simple right? I know it will be challenging... because good things are worth waiting for. I will appreciate my new figure more and will be less temped to indulge. Having patients while leaning on God thought it all, will only bring more joy out of the journey. This is a walk in fitness and faith for me. I didn't put these 54 lbs on in 1 day but over 6 years. So let's get excited about the future because it doesn't have to take 6 years to release it. My goal is to be 130 lbs by my 29th birthday (January 4th 2014) that is 1 lbs per week to lose. I feel this is a very realistic goal. I feel confident when I say this goal. I feel in control over losing 1 lb per week. I'm excited!

So here are some strategics of how I'm going to do this:
1) Limit fast food (notice I didn't say quit) because I know if I quit fast food, I'm more willing to binge.
2) Do my best to make every workout count! Whatever it is... just to move my body for at least 30 mins
3) Don't beat myself up... it's not worth it! There is time to make up a slip up. Do more cardio for that piece of cake that I just had to have. Then get over it! Next meal time make it up by choosing healthier foods and smaller portion sizes.
4) Drink more water. Plain and simple. Not only will this keep you hydrated but it will also fill you up.
5) Start being creative during Dinner. Dinnertime is usually bad because I can't cook. I'm scared to try new things. BUT I'm going to overcome my fear of cooking. I know what we're eating now isn't help me release any weight. So I'm willing to try new, healthier ideas, version of dinners. And just in case my masterpiece doesn't turn out... always have a Plan B ready. Just in case.
6) Affirmations will help me stay positive and help lift me up when I'm feeling down. Monitor what I'm watching on TV too. Biggest Loser will for sure help me stay motivated. CD's to inspire me. A picture of myself on my new body that God will help me recreate. (He did a great job, now it's time to ask for help from Him to reshape it)
7) Limit the pity party to 5 mins with a timer. When it goes off, be done with whatever is stressing me out. That way I'm not reaching in the fridge to fill that empty void in my heart with food.
8) Get the family involved. My daughter is a great motivator. We run together and she's pretty fast for a 6 year old!
9) Put some activities on the schedule so I don't get bored. Things I've always wanted to do: Cross Country Skiing, Snow Showing, Mud Run, Color Run, Warrior Run. Things I can start training for now.
10) Just go for it! What do I have to lose but the weight!

Thank you all who supports this blog and myself. I hope can help encourage everyone to get out there and move! The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens! Don't Give Up!

Drop Dead Diva

Have you ever seen the TV Series called "Drop Dead Diva?" For those who haven't, it's a show that the main character is a skinny model who dies in a car accident. She goes to Heaven and an angel goes over her life. She wants to go back to earth and be the same person she once was... so she presses the return button but ends up in a different body. A body of a much larger girl, who is a smart lawyer. She is a skinny person living in a larger person's body.

Funny... but that's kind how I see myself. As I discussed how to write this blog to my BFF, I came across a couple of things.

1) I feel like I'm myself at 18 years old. Young, Tan, Skinny (size 4) with Abs and fun to be around. BUT when I look in the mirror I see a completely different person. A person who I almost don't recognized. A person who isn't doing the things she once did... maybe because let's face it. I'm not 18... I'm 27, married to a wonderful man who I adore, I have a fun, beautiful 6 year old, a full time job and an awesome part-time career. Oh and we just adopted the worlds most awesome cat. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE where I am at life. I am very grateful for everything that is happening to me... except the weight gain. Going to the gym has really been put on the back burner these days. Geesh, when I was 18, I would be at the gym for 2 hours a day Monday - Friday and running around doing fun stuff any 18 year old would be doing (and burning all those calories)  Now I do a ton of traveling in my car or sit behind my desk and work for 8 hours. Between running errors (which seems to be the only running I get in these days) dinner & bedtimes... there just isn't enough time in the day to get everything I need to get done with all the responsibility of be a 27 year old. Let's get one thing straight. I am NOT making excuses. I'm just making observations right now. Releasing this weight is something I'd LOVE to do, I just need to figure out how I can make it work with my schedule.

Why you ask I word it as "releasing weight?" Well, how fun is it to lose something? That means you have no control over letting it go. How about calling it releasing weight, personally, when I say this, I feel the words just melt. I envision how the lbs will melt off.    

2) I need to be comfortable in my own skin. Yes, comfortable but also Healthy! Let's face it. The body has the Holy Spirit living inside of it. It was a gift from God. I have to share a great example of this my Bestie came up with. "If God gave you a vase (and you didn't like it) would you only bring it out when God came over to visit? or would you put the vase out for everyone to see and be thankful of the gift God gave you?" Since I have become a born again Christian over the past year and a half. I have came to release that not only did I get baptized into a new person but I get the chance to start over. It's a do over, a gimme. So why shouldn't I take advance of this good life I have now and let God made it even greater? I need His help!

Hence, the blog, "The Taste of Something Great." My life is good, but I know God has something GREAT planned for me. I know I can't do it alone. Only through God's glory will I release those 45 lbs. I won't be a size 4 probably ever again... but that's not my goal. I want a healthy weight that is suitable for my height and age. I want to be a healthy 130 lbs. Yep, that's right. I'm being completely honest because this is how it works. I weight 175 lbs and I'm 5'2".

I can't promise this blog will be pretty because of all the sweat and tears. But by God's grace I will achieve victory. I hope I can encourage other's through this journey of overcoming these obstacles of releasing weight. Just remember that with every obstacle or struggle you face, call them stepping stones, because God will help you overcome it all, one step at a time and lead you to your own victory.