I'm not going to lie, beat around the bush or try to paint a pretty picture. It's been a struggle. Not only physically but mentally and emotionally. I mean, why would someone want to read a blog about the struggle of losing weight when all I've done is gain? That thought crossed my mind as well as other negative thoughts that I won't share just yet. Tonight I was reminded by some pretty amazing ladies that the beauty is in the journey, the story, and the struggles. The situations that you either succeed at or fail at. Failing is simply put as "First Attempt In Learning". I'm learning. I'm human and I'm trying.
Months after Seminar, my eyes were opened to new oppertunities, new adventures and new dreams. When would my husband and I have our 2nd child? Well we both discussed this for months and came to the conclusion, there is no "right time" or "enough money" so we went for it. In my head, I often thought this would only hurt my ability to lose weight but it didn't. I actually lost 16 lbs but not in a fun way. I had morning sickness almost all of my pregnancy. This was not an easy pregnancy like I had with Emma. This pregnancy was very difficult. Let me tell you though, It was completely worth it. Beautiful Baby Ava was born Dec 15th (on my husband's birthday) 2013. You would assume it would be 11 months of bliss after a difficult pregnancy... That's where I stop you & say you're wrong. As most mom's know, it comes with a loss of energy, being sleep deprived, having a lack of self care, and for me a season of depression. Ava was borderline Colicy w/ acid reflux. Every time she would cry, it would break my heart. My emotions couldn't handle the sadness coming from such a sweet little thing. But over time, she got better and so did I. We are now at 12 months, (just celebrated Ava's 1st Birthday Party) and both of us are doing a little better as each month goes by. Let's just say I am excited to put the infant stage behind us. I'm looking forward to the toddler years. 😉
Okay, let's get down to the nitty-gritty of it. I'm currently at 187 lbs. I'm actually ok with it... for now. I know I need to love myself and to start somewhere. That somewhere is here. I'm unhappy with how my body looks & I'm at a point where I'm ready to make a change.
Before I get into the details, I must share what God put on my heart... a ministry. To be specific, my family. The first two tasks are to show God's love towards each one of them and to help them though the struggles of emotions and how to handle situations. I am no expert at any of this, in fact I struggle with this myself. But, I believe God has a purpose for this and I trust His plan. So trusting in God means letting Him be in ALL areas of my life. Including my weight loss journey, my relationship with food and the dreaded word food budget. Yep God will be involved in all of the process.
My plan for a healthy lifestyle with a balance of excerise & making healthier choices with smaller portions. I have quit drinking pop on Dec 3rd. So far it's been good. I realized how addicted I was to caffeine and how much I relied on it. It was time for a change. I have my Camelbak water bottle with me at ALL TIMES. It helps a lot! I'm going to start up 21 Day Fix again with a group on Jan 5th (the day after my bday). I did this a while back & this plan helped get me started on watching & measuring portions. Also on writing down what I'm eating & being accountable for it. Shout out to Rachel who is a wonderful coach & friend. She's so down to earth and understands the struggles we all go though. You could say she's picked me up a time or two.😉 I have also started wearing my Jawbone UP to moniture when & how I'm being active. It does motivate me to move more, get better sleep and be accountable.
I just want to give a shout out to whoever reads my blog. Thank you. Thank you for taking time to read this. Thank you for not judging me or criticizing me on what I post or how poor my grammar may be. Thank you for loving me for who I am. I hope only to encourage you and other on my journey.
